Save the Intern |

I deal with the dumbest people ever. Unfortunately, the company I work for does not allow us to put up our own signs.

All in one fax copiers suck balls. Henry Ford, even though the douchebag was a racist, had it right when he separated all the tasks in making a car. Why does Xerox feel like they have to put a faxer, printer, copier, phone, walkie talkie, camera, jelly bean maker, and butt wiper all into one machine? I tried sending a fax today for one of my bosses and then like a tool had to ask how the thing worked. Beard Boss guy came over and pushed like fifty buttons before the fax went through and then said the classic, “That’s all you have to do.” Why couldn’t we have gone over faxing during our training. I know how to open mail and put it in a box no one needs to teach me that. But when operating the Xerox I would have appreciated getting more than the code. If you’re a boss reading this please help your interns with the way to expensive technology in the office you only bought to look legit.

Boring. Training sucks. Learning how to work in an office is as painful as someone trying to teach you how to eat an apple. Bite into it, what else is there. I did get some good advice from a guy who was intern and now works there.

He told me, “Sometimes in this job you’re going to have to eat shit, don’t nibble and you will be fine.”

Pretty profound if you ask me. Maybe I should consider removing the Fiber One from the lunch room.

Instead of calling my mother calling me today, I called her. I got a job. Well it’s an internship, but the lady who hired me told me if I do well this summer I get a job. It’s at a pretty standard company, but I know it’s legit because people get dressed up for work every day and the older folks have BlackBerrys. Right now I have to do general office duties. I told her I had experience in general office duties, but my experience is just common sense. I think I can handle answering phones, faxes, and sorting through mail. It’s funny how much my office resembles the office from the show The Office (Yes, I just used the word office three times in the sentence…actually if you count everything before the period, four).

I start Thursday and it’s crazy to say, but I’m excited to go to work. Since college I’ve been waiting. Waiting to start supporting myself financially, waiting to do something that could set me up for the future, waiting to tell people that I have a job that doesn’t involve me testing video games. Also, I can finally start looking for a place instead of being a temporary guest and my friend’s house.

Faithful readers don’t fret I get a computer at work so I can keep posting on my blog, when I’m not video snacking. Video snacking is a sweet term I learned the other day for watching videos during your lunch break. I’m sure after I’m a working man I will pick up some excellent new terms, which I will be sure to share with all of you asshats.

As our first full month in LA is almost coming to a close. As a way to celebrate the occasion we had a party. Unfortunately Josh went from party goer, to the party’s project. Well done, Joshua… well done.

The formation, measuring 150ft in diameter, is apparently a coded image representing the first 10 digits, 3.141592654, of pi.

It is has appeared in a field near Barbury Castle, an iron-age hill fort above Wroughton, Wilts, and has been described by astrophysicists as “mind-boggling”. I have described it as “holy shit look what the Brits are up to”.

So I’ve been in LA for about three weeks now. I have a Dodgers hat and want a long board. I finally got a job and guess what I’m doing. I’m a video game tester. I play video games, they ask me if I like them, and then I get paid. It’s silly that I can make some cash doing this. I’m glad I went to four years of college of to prepare myself for the arduous challenge of playing video games. I didn’t have to specify that I watch hours and hours of youtube, but it might of actually helped me to get this gig.

It’s decent money, but not enough to keep me out here, or make me feel like I have purpose. So I’m still applying for real jobs, internships that will lead to real jobs, and keeping my options open because I’m to scared to narrow my possibilities at all. At least I’m finally feeling comfortable on the west coast. If anyone has any fun places to recommend in LA I’m always down, so please feel free.

Took a day trip to Arizona. If you’re ever wondering where is the best place to get pulled over, might I suggest Flagstaff, AZ:

(Ben puts car window down on the side of I-40 West)

Officer: I really do apologize, but I think you were going a little fast there.

Ben: We weren’t sure if the speed was 75 or 65 in this part of Arizona.

Officer: Oh, I know. It is awfully confusing. Again, I hate to inconvenience you, but I will need to give you a warning. Do you mind coming back here with me to fill out the paper work?

Ben: Oh, that’s fine.

Officer: I’m not going to give you a ticket, but a warning should do. Just be careful over here.

Ben: Ok, thank you.

Officer: Now, you have a great rest of your trip!

It was a dream… I half expected to have him set up a little picnic for Josh and I on the side of the road.

In previous posts I told you about my grandma’s graduation gift of the new HP Pavillion which is working out great. I am starting to work soon, though, and everyone I have spoken to at the office is on a Mac. I guess I just don’t get the big craze. All the latte drinking, Volvo-driving, New York Times reading, hackey sack kicking hippies that I know claim, “Well, it’s just easier.” I’ll give them that its easy. But maybe it’s too easy. I think Mac has taken all the fun out of finding all the fun gadgets in a computer. They do all the tricky shit for you. It insults the intelligence of the buyer. I love my PC. I have always loved my PC. Finding all of it’s bells and whistles is part of the fun of having a home computer to begin with. I don’t need to a get a Mac because it’s the trendy thing to do. Well, whatever… pardon the rant, just needed to get that one out there.

Josh and I are here in Los Angeles. We got in yesterday, right in the middle of afternoon rush hour. What better way to be greeted by our new city than sitting in bumper to bumper with our fellow LA peoples? It’s pretty different than what I’m used to on the east coast, but I think I can get used to the beautiful women and great weather. I will be near the beach, staying with a old college friend, for a month until I figure out exactly what were doing with our lives. Like always if anyone is in search of a unskilled, idiot savant, with a great smile in LA let me know. I do anything that pays well, isn’t smelly, and doesn’t require any computer geek knowledge. So I’ll keep you fellow blog readers posted, yeah I see that I’m getting a little following now, as I figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life. Of course I’ll continue to throw up more of the crazy technology stuff I find around town and online that entertains me. That’s it for me. Save the Intern, peace I’m out.

Ben